Earning my face

I joke that my face came from a common mold since many people have told me that I look like someone they know.

"Doesn't she look like your cousin Valerie?"

I don't know who Valerie is and gee, I'm sorry if she bears a resemblence to me (said jokingly).

I'd look in the mirror and wonder what it was about my features that translated so well to other people's faces. I didn't see anything particularly striking or unique - perhaps that was the reason.

I realized this morning that I haven't heard that comment for some time, perhaps as much as a year or more. I think it's because life has given me opportunities to make my face my own. I've got laugh lines and worry lines (I'm working on making more of the former and less of the latter). Crows' feet rim my eyes. Gray hairs are sprouting in my hair and eyebrows. Flesh is slowing traveling southward (thank you, gravity). For some time, I've been sucked into the world of cosmetic "miracles" in a feeble attempt to stave off the inevitable signs of aging. It's hard to see my face showing a different side to the world than the one I see in my mind where I'm still 28, give or take a few years. And then, today, it dawned on me that my efforts to reverse time could give me back a face that I had to share with others. I never really minded the comments before but, to paraphrase a song from "My Fair Lady," I've grown accustomed to my face. I'd like to keep it, please. I think I've earned it.

Ah, but don't be fooled into thinking that I'm tossing out my salves and ointments guaranteed to give me a face like the model in the ad. I like my face but I wouldn't mind a hint of youth in my visage.

Seven songs I’m really into

Meme time (would someone please tell me what this stands for? My weird mind conjures all types of phrasing: Men eating messy eggs. Merry elephants marching eternally.) I've been tagged by lelo (I'm no longer a tag virgin, I guess). Here’s the scoop:

"List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to."

Like lelo, I used to be really into music. I still am but I don't play music as often as I used to. I have CDs in my car in a handy 6-disc CD changer but its convenience makes me lazy and I don't change the selection as often as I could. I also play the radio, tuning in rock or NPR. We have a large collection of records but they are silent at present since both record players are in the attic waiting for a place on our shelves (requires holes and wiring and until we determine the set-up, we aren't drilling holes in the beautiful bookcase built by hubby and my dad.) So my list is compiled with exceptions to the rules since I'm including one song that I'm only hearing in my head. (does this fall under "voices in the head"? Am I in trouble?)

1. "Downtown" by Petula Clark, 1964. I heard this on KHITS (106.7) the other day. I sang along as well as I could (which wasn't very well at all) and remembered when this song was still fairly new. My best friends, Sally and Wendy, and I would dress up in Wendy's basement and sing this song, complete with "microphones" (ie. hair brushes). "Lemon Tree", "Those Were The Days", "Windy," "I Want to Hold Your Hand," and "She Loves You," along with any song from the Monkees also suffered our attention. Wendy had the best dress up clothes; fancy, frilly 50's dresses that her mom no longer wore. My favorite was this baby-blue chiffon dress with spaghetti straps that floated in the air when I moved. I did a lot of swaying just for the effect.

2. "25 or 6 to 4" by Chicago, mid-'70's. I also heard this on KHITS recently. I would imagine that most Chicago area high schools favored this band strongly. We had a HS rock band that did amazing covers of Chicago hits (we also had another with a female singer that did a favorable representation of Joni Mitchell). They played at our High School Graduation Dance (the Chicago cover band, that is, not the real group) where I tried to summon my courage to ask Ed, the object of a long, long crush, to dance. I never did find the guts, even after a friend asked him to show me how easy it was to do.

3. A song by Queen from the '70s that contains the lyrics "I want to ride my bicycle" but for the life of me, I can't remember which song it is. I keep hearing the lyrics over and over in my head because I was going to blog about bicycling. If anyone can help me solve this musical mystery, I'd be grateful!

4. "Somewhere over China" by Jimmy Buffet, '90. Jimmy Buffet is one of my husband's favorite singers and if we don't own every single CD of his, we've got to be close. This song - and CD - is among my favorites of this singer. I love the dreamy quality and nostalgia it summons up.

5. "Harder to Breathe" by Maroon 5, '02. I love this song for its high energy funk and it's what prompted me to buy the "Songs About Jane" CD. Great funky, bluezy, groovy music with nods to Stevie Wonder (another fave).

6. So I've got to include a Stevie Wonder hit but heck, it's hard to choose which is my favorite from his Songs in the Key of Life double album so I'm going to take the easy way out and choose the whole shebang. (yeah, I'm cheating but what are you gonna do about it? ;-) ).

7. Huh, I'm at number 7 already. I thought I'd have a hard time but I could keep on going. So what's going to be my number 7 song...okay, I'm going to cheat again and list a CD that is in my car, "The Best of Van Morrison", '98. Please don't ask me to narrow down my choice to a single song. Would it be "Gloria" (so great to play loud, really loud) or "Bright Side of the Road" or "Moondance"? And that's only the first 3 songs on the CD.

This really isn't a good representation of the music I love since I can't include favorite folk singers, such as James Taylor and Carol King, or blues singer, Johnny Lang (another good one to blast loud) or the weirdly named band, Death cab for cutie (thanks to a friend for turning me onto them) or Supertramp, or or or...

This Meme is going to end quietly with me, lelo. I'm too new on the blog scene to know seven others to tag. But thanks for letting me play. ;-)

I have to add a postscript after checking the APOD for today: Major Tom - now I've got David Bowie's "Space Oddity" playing in my head...

Creativity on the run

Why is it that my most creative thoughts occur in the semi-conscious state of dreamland? Words come together with flow and perfection to create marvelous and magical compositions. I think, "That's it! That's exactly how it should be written. I must remember this," only to realize upon awakening that perfection is stuck fast behind my closed eyelids. How cruel is that? Each time this happens, I think that I must wake myself up to write down my ideas but I can never rouse myself enough to do that. Even if I did, there's no way to know that my prose would not run as quickly from my grasp as it does in the morning light.

I comfort myself with the thought that perhaps my compositions are not as magnificent as I recall they were. Since this occurs in that magical land where I believe I can fly and I am always a taller, slimmer version of myself, my judgement is questionable. But still, it grieves me to think that my sleeping self is so much more brilliant than my waking self.

Perhaps it is the demands of daily life that block this deep well within myself from bubbling to the surface. That's a thought that will need further contemplation. Later. For now, I must fly to attend to tasks that will not wait.

Playin' around

I'm trying to learn the photo posting ropes...have patience with me...

My youth, revisited

With the recent demise of "The River," I'm on the hunt for another favorite radio station to add to the preset buttons in my car. I found lots of country (thank you, but no thank you), talk radio (a big, loud NO without even the thank you, with the exception of NPR) and some Christian rock (it's rock, so it has a chance). I also found a surprising number of radio stations playing hits of the '60's and '70's. Some of the songs are as great today as they were back then but others are, uh, well, just plain fun without lasting musical merit. C'mon, admit it, you'd sing along with the Monkee's "Last train to Clarksville" too, for the sheer joy of it. (Just ignore the driver next to you giving you concerned glances.)

What is it with the emergence of classic rock stations beyond our old standby, KGON? Not that I'm complaining, mind you. It is wonderful to turn on the radio and hear the songs of my youth. BTO, Eagles and Chicago transport me right back to my high schools days and happy memories of friends who still are a huge part of my life (you know who you are). I know the lyrics, I know the bands and heck, I can even recall the album cover art.

I thought this trend was due to us baby boomers and our wallets but I've learned that '70's rock is popular with today's youth, too. The first song my eldest played on his new electric guitar was "Smoke on the water." We bought him CDs with the best hits of Yes and Aerosmith (I wonder if he's realized that I've borrowed them). When he caught me playing "Boston" fairly loudly, he told me to turn it up. How cool is that? Instead of rolling his eyes at my music choices, he wants to join me. Well, truthfully, not all of my music earn his favor. No matter how hard I try, I can't convince him to like James Taylor, Jim Croce or Carol King. He'd rather listen to Metallica (ugh).

I don't plan to completely relive my youth by donning bell bottoms, love beads and crochet vests (and we thought we looked good!) but I'm loving the plethora of music from those days. Care for a little "Stairway to heaven"? Yes, thank you, don't mind if I do.

The jump forward

Via a phone call from a friend yesterday, a wonderful writing opportunity has come my way. My initial excitement has given way to trepidation, damnable trepidation that hobbles my feet and prevents me from moving forward with ease and confidence. But I won't let it trip me up. I turn my attention to two inspirational poems by Mary Anne Radmacher on the bulletin board in my office.

Live with Intention

The Jump is so Frightening

Her words remind me that this isn't a dress rehearsal of life, this is the real thing. I can affect my life's direction as much by my lack of action as I can by my choices. Failure is a possiblity but success will never happen if I don't try. I squelch my discouraging inner litany of "Who the hell do I think I am? I can't do this! They'll find out I'm a fraud," and banish the thoughts again and again as they come back up like reminders of a bad meal. I will not let fear be the winner in this battle. With chin up, shoulders back and chest out, my focus centers on the challenge that lies ahead. I'll draw a deep breath and jump, hoping that, like my cat, I'll land on my feet.

Wish me luck.