Questions and answers
Years ago, while living in Florida, I dated a guy named Henry*. Everything about him was neat and tidy. He organized his clothes in his closet by color and sleeve length. He owned 7 pairs of running shoes, one for each day of the week. He owned 2 cars; one for every day use, the other, his treasured shiny black Datsun 280Z, was for special occasions. I asked him once if I could drive the "Z". Oops, wrong question. He was shocked that I would dare to ask such a thing. His sister told me that he had never allowed anyone to drive it - ever. I shrugged it off as no big deal. After all, he had many other wonderful boyfriend qualities. He was big on romantic gestures. And I really liked his family.
After leaving a New Year's Eve party, he asked if we could stop at his house for a moment before he took me home. Under his Christmas tree was a large present. "Who is that for?" I asked. He grinned. "For me?" I cried with glee. What wonderful gift could be in this big box?
I tore off the wrapping, opened the box and found another wrapped present inside. Inside that one was another. And another and another until I was left with a shirt-box sized present. Inside that one was a ring made of plastic and masking tape with a diamond-shaped clear plastic "stone" on top. Along the curve of the ring, he had written, "Will you marry me?"
I was dumbfounded! We had barely been dating 3 months. We hadn't said "I love you" to each other. And he was asking me to marry him? I was flattered, of course, but marriage? Wow! That was completely unexpected. I slowly turned my gaze from the ring to his face. He was waiting for an answer, clearly thrilled that he had pulled off such a grandly romantic surprise. I marveled that he could look so sure of my answer when I had no idea what it would be. All kinds of responses whirled through my head. What would I say? Finally, I stammered out,
"Does this mean you'll let me drive your 'Z'?"
Wrong answer.
Four months later he was engaged to another woman. In less than a year, they were married and had a baby. I realized it wasn't me he was proposing to but marriage in general. The wrong answer was the right answer in retrospect.
*Not his real name, of course.
After leaving a New Year's Eve party, he asked if we could stop at his house for a moment before he took me home. Under his Christmas tree was a large present. "Who is that for?" I asked. He grinned. "For me?" I cried with glee. What wonderful gift could be in this big box?
I tore off the wrapping, opened the box and found another wrapped present inside. Inside that one was another. And another and another until I was left with a shirt-box sized present. Inside that one was a ring made of plastic and masking tape with a diamond-shaped clear plastic "stone" on top. Along the curve of the ring, he had written, "Will you marry me?"
I was dumbfounded! We had barely been dating 3 months. We hadn't said "I love you" to each other. And he was asking me to marry him? I was flattered, of course, but marriage? Wow! That was completely unexpected. I slowly turned my gaze from the ring to his face. He was waiting for an answer, clearly thrilled that he had pulled off such a grandly romantic surprise. I marveled that he could look so sure of my answer when I had no idea what it would be. All kinds of responses whirled through my head. What would I say? Finally, I stammered out,
"Does this mean you'll let me drive your 'Z'?"
Wrong answer.
Four months later he was engaged to another woman. In less than a year, they were married and had a baby. I realized it wasn't me he was proposing to but marriage in general. The wrong answer was the right answer in retrospect.
*Not his real name, of course.
posted by bemused at 2:07 PM
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