S'nothin' a good thumping won't fix
I have a fear of flying. And of heights. Whether these two phobias are connected or not, I don't know. However, I'd love to be rid of both. Logic doesn't help. These are irrational, from-the-gut emotions that overrule mental manipulations to calm my anxieties. I'm at the point where I'm game to try almost anything with an open mind.
Which is how I found myself getting thumped on the upper chest and sinus cavities by a high school classmate at our 30 year reunion last Saturday.
NP had been a practicing psychologist, now retired due to wise investing (retired at 47, can you imagine?). He had developed phobia-conquering techniques by combining aspects of Eastern philosophy with Western psychology. He claimed them to be quite effective and he offered a demonstration on the spot to prove it. My friend S and I offered ourselves up as guinea pigs. S teased her husband B that if NP could cure her of her fear of needles, B would have to buy her a pair of diamond stud earrings for her newly pierced ears.
We wandered down the hall and around a corner, out of eyesight of fellow reunion-goers. There, NP explained the process. He'd have us focus on the phobia, imagining the last time we'd felt the fear and how it made us feel. He would ask us to describe the feeling, tell him where we felt it and how it would feel to be rid of this hindrance. Once we had summoned up our anxiety, NP would thump with two fingers both sides of the upper chest and then the sinus cavities on both sides of the nose. Lastly, he'd ask us to say repeatedly that we loved ourselves, despite our fear.
I didn't quite understand the connection between fear and thumping but since there was no risk or pain involved, it seemed worth a shot.
S went first. B, another friend C and I watched. S, more of a skeptic than myself, had a very hard time taking NP seriously. The corners of her mouth kept twitching upwards with a giggle escaping now and then. NP admonished her to take the process seriously but C swears he did so with a twinkle in his eye. Could he have been pulling our leg just as he did in high school? Regardless of that possibility, S suppressed her giggles.
After several rounds of finger thumping, NP asked S to try to draw up her fear as he described a needle-threatening scenario. Was S cured? S thought she didn't feel as anxious but that the true test would come later when there was an actual needle present.
My turn, same procedure but with flying imagery instead. Conjuring the fear was easy for me. I'd flown in just a few days earlier and although it was, by most standards, a smooth flight with only a few rough patches, it had me white-knuckled. I think I felt less anxiety when NP was done but it was hard to tell whether it was wishful thinking or actual improvement.
Two days later, as we taxied for take-off, I did a little surreptious chest thumping in an effort to recreate whatever it was NP had done. We were soon airborne and I hadn't begun twitching nervously at minor bumps. So far so good. I was feeling rather brave and smug.
I should have known better. We hit swishing and swaying turbulence 45 minutes from landing. I chanted my litany of calming words - a combination of prayer and logic, an any port in the storm maneuver - while trying to capture the image of the stone cottage*. Momentary spells of calm air drew me close to my goal only to have another stomach-lurching shimmy send me into breathless agitation.
I admitted defeat. "Damn you, NP, for promising what you couldn't deliver."
The ridiculousness of it all suddenly overwhelmed me. I laughed out loud, releasing tension, with great glee at my expense. For one brief, beautiful moment, I wasn't afraid. My muscles relaxed and I loosed my death grip on the arm rests.
Could that have been NP's intention all along?
Or do I require such bouts of thumping that I'd be left black and blue?
Either way, S has not scheduled her ear-piercing appointment.
*If you haven't seen "French Kiss", you won't know this reference. Meg Ryan's character attempted to calm her fear of flying by picturing a stone cottage. I told you I am game to try anything with an open mind.
Which is how I found myself getting thumped on the upper chest and sinus cavities by a high school classmate at our 30 year reunion last Saturday.
NP had been a practicing psychologist, now retired due to wise investing (retired at 47, can you imagine?). He had developed phobia-conquering techniques by combining aspects of Eastern philosophy with Western psychology. He claimed them to be quite effective and he offered a demonstration on the spot to prove it. My friend S and I offered ourselves up as guinea pigs. S teased her husband B that if NP could cure her of her fear of needles, B would have to buy her a pair of diamond stud earrings for her newly pierced ears.
We wandered down the hall and around a corner, out of eyesight of fellow reunion-goers. There, NP explained the process. He'd have us focus on the phobia, imagining the last time we'd felt the fear and how it made us feel. He would ask us to describe the feeling, tell him where we felt it and how it would feel to be rid of this hindrance. Once we had summoned up our anxiety, NP would thump with two fingers both sides of the upper chest and then the sinus cavities on both sides of the nose. Lastly, he'd ask us to say repeatedly that we loved ourselves, despite our fear.
I didn't quite understand the connection between fear and thumping but since there was no risk or pain involved, it seemed worth a shot.
S went first. B, another friend C and I watched. S, more of a skeptic than myself, had a very hard time taking NP seriously. The corners of her mouth kept twitching upwards with a giggle escaping now and then. NP admonished her to take the process seriously but C swears he did so with a twinkle in his eye. Could he have been pulling our leg just as he did in high school? Regardless of that possibility, S suppressed her giggles.
After several rounds of finger thumping, NP asked S to try to draw up her fear as he described a needle-threatening scenario. Was S cured? S thought she didn't feel as anxious but that the true test would come later when there was an actual needle present.
My turn, same procedure but with flying imagery instead. Conjuring the fear was easy for me. I'd flown in just a few days earlier and although it was, by most standards, a smooth flight with only a few rough patches, it had me white-knuckled. I think I felt less anxiety when NP was done but it was hard to tell whether it was wishful thinking or actual improvement.
Two days later, as we taxied for take-off, I did a little surreptious chest thumping in an effort to recreate whatever it was NP had done. We were soon airborne and I hadn't begun twitching nervously at minor bumps. So far so good. I was feeling rather brave and smug.
I should have known better. We hit swishing and swaying turbulence 45 minutes from landing. I chanted my litany of calming words - a combination of prayer and logic, an any port in the storm maneuver - while trying to capture the image of the stone cottage*. Momentary spells of calm air drew me close to my goal only to have another stomach-lurching shimmy send me into breathless agitation.
I admitted defeat. "Damn you, NP, for promising what you couldn't deliver."
The ridiculousness of it all suddenly overwhelmed me. I laughed out loud, releasing tension, with great glee at my expense. For one brief, beautiful moment, I wasn't afraid. My muscles relaxed and I loosed my death grip on the arm rests.
Could that have been NP's intention all along?
Or do I require such bouts of thumping that I'd be left black and blue?
Either way, S has not scheduled her ear-piercing appointment.
*If you haven't seen "French Kiss", you won't know this reference. Meg Ryan's character attempted to calm her fear of flying by picturing a stone cottage. I told you I am game to try anything with an open mind.
posted by bemused at 8:51 AM
7 Comments:
Well... I was looking (longingly) at a pair of "dangly" diamond earrings yesterday. I may just call N for another round of thumping! That is if B doesn't hide N's phone # from me in fear that he'll have to start shopping at Tiffany's! ;-)
Seriously, if you didn't get the jitters until the turbulence hit, then maybe N did some good. Even if we just learn to laugh at our fears (or ourselves for buying into the "quick-fix" solution), then we're still coming out ahead!
Before the thumping, I had quelled my fear of flying enough to board a plane and get through take-off. It's bumpy air and landings that give me the jitters. I want to be like the guy across the aisle from me on the plane. When we hit the turbulence, he donned eyeshades and relaxed to enjoy the ride. I kept checking but I never saw a single tense muscle.
I was so jealous, I wanted to thump him! LOL
Diamonds are good carats to dangle (there's a pun there).
What a great experience at a reunion!!! So much better than drinking too much and dancing like a fiend.
Who said we didnt' all dance like fiends?! :-)
That was one of the best parts!
Despite the low turn-out, our reunion was a blast. And we did dance like fiends, but all in good fun. I compensated for my poor dancing skills with goofy takes on dances from Saturday Night Fever, Pulp Fiction and other movies. I even threw in an "Elaine Benes", jerky motions and all, but since I'm so bad at impressions, no one understood what I was doing. They probably thought I was having a fit. How sad is that? Oh, well, it was fun.
We left the heavy drinking to another classmate. I wonder if he has ever been sober - he even looked stoned/drunk in his senior photo - and that is so sad. And scary.
S, did you get my pun or was it too obtuse? Here's another clue - the other half of the equation is a stick.
C agrees -- bumpy swishing swaying aircraft should make anyone get the jitters. If you were calm on take off and laughing on landing, you're nearly cured!
Perhaps a session with NP and S at the same time? Can I watch again???
;-)
C thinks it worked somewhat but that you and S need another session. Can B and I watch again? ;-}
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